Feels dead in this semester

It's true, I am a girl who loves Drama. I like to perform, to direct, to act, to be crazy and stuff. In the past three semester, I am so happy, so energetic, so eager to do almost everything. Even the assignment is as high as the mountain, although I led out a sigh, but I will finish all it with a positive minded. But honestly, what happened to me in this sem? I feel I am dead. I don't have confidence to do on mostly all the assignment and presentation. Maybe because the new system that my fac has launched and I have gone totally lost.

A face of me who is totally lost 

Yes, my dream is to be a director and I have to take all the necessary subjects that is related to directing. But mostly the subject that were taken by me is not what I intend to take. Advanced directing is okay but I am quite disappointed on the lecturer himself and also the performance that he wants us to do for the end semester. He wants us to direct a ritual or so called a traditional theater. Well, I am quite a modern chic and plus I am not a very "chinese" person, so to direct something traditional would probably eats up my life!

Next, I don't think that Music in Theater course is necessary to take for being a director. For me, I think it's more to scenographer thingie. The lecturer is very strict, plus I don't think I have learned anything from her except listening to her rubbish stories. She wastes too much time to want us to know deeper on the text, the meanings... All right forget about that. Move on next, I don't know whether is a good thing or bad thing that there are two classes I take is under a lecturer. I will never mention the name. He tends to talk a lot, but never show us. I understand what he wants honestly but sometimes I wish the class can be more interesting, to let the students love and enjoy the class. But sadly, the class is soulless and dead.

Talking about this semester, I am going to present my proposal as director for the first time on next friday. My legs are shivered like crazy here and I am sweating cold. I have no confidence at all. Why? Because my supervisor haven't read my script yet and I can't proceed to the next step on asking his advice and views and guidance on how am I going to present my proposal. If my script is being approved, then only I can start writing and planning how how am I going to direct. Oh god please help me, I wish there's an angel right now compliments this poor princess here. Hoping a miracle could have happened on that Friday. My lecturers all like to do last minute work and guess what, students also need to do last minute work and that's exhausted. Honestly, I always want to finish up the proposal so that I can adjust my time and all. But without any guidance, all must be push to last minute, I've got to suffer.